Oozers Run out of Batteries for their Boombox, Unnatural Bats keep the Rhythm Going....

As is typical of an Unnatural Selection---Primordial Ooze match up, Sunday night’s game at Kiwanis field was exciting till the final out with an intensity index so high that it was only exceeded by the humidity. James started off the Unnaturals on the right foot with a single and was driven in by Dave, who in turn made it home off a single by Laura. The Mighty Ooze answered back with two of their own in the bottom of the first. A series of singles in the second inning would garner the Unnaturals three more, but the Ooze wasted no time to respond with four runs in the bottom of the inning. The Unnatural offense was held to one run in the next two innings while the Oozers scored six to bring the score to 12-6 with the Ooze on top. The Unnaturals cut the Ooze lead in half in the 5th inning by scoring three runs while briefly shutting down the Ooze offense and then in the 6th inning the Unnaturals began a late game rally. Laura got the game-tying hit when she drove in Amanda and Dave off a nicely placed single and her hit was immediately followed by a three-run homerun by a very soiled Greg that gave the Unnaturals the go-ahead runs. The Selection tallied three more runs in the inning for a 9 run rally that brought the score to 18-12. The Unnaturals would not score again after the rally in the 6th but managed to hold the Ooze to only one run in the bottom of the 6th and to three in the bottom of the seventh. Megan’s game-ending catch of a shallow flyball Oozing into centerfield ended the game and handed the Ooze only their second loss of the season. The Ooze lacked their boombox this game and without having “Brickhouse”, “Squirrels” or “Vertigo” blaring from their bench the Oozers may have let the incessant Unnatural cheering get to them. If the Unnaturals face the Oozers armed with their usual soundtrack in the playoffs they should be prepared for another tough game. Final Score: 18-16 U.S.

Unnaturals Exceed Terminal Velocity on Thursday Night—Team Physicists are Baffled

On Thursday night the Unnatural Selection and Terminal Velocity faced off for the first time. Terminal Velocity is a new team this season, however, many of their players are former members of the Chegs, a team made up primarily of chemical engineers that played in the Amherst League last season. The Unnaturals took the field first and with Laura in her first game on the mound since her Alaskan expedition retired the first three Velocity batters. In their first at bat the Unnatural sent four players around the diamond. The Velocity answered back with 6 runs of their own in the top of the second. The game was close until the fourth inning when The Selection scored seven runs giving them a lead that the Velocity would be unable to recover from despite putting several players on base, hitting some long balls, and having an incomprehensible algorithm for determining batting order. The Unnaturals had several solid defensive plays in the field including a tag out at home by Leah to end the game when a Velocity player attempted to stretch a triple into a homerun. The MVP award, which was handed out by a retired 1st grade teacher in the stands, went to Relena, a rookie Unnatural who played second base like a veteran and produced three singles, a double and 4 RBI on offense. The final score of the game was 23-10. Hopefully the Unnaturals can continue their hitting streak for Sunday’s game against the Primordial Ooze.

Damage Dealt by Barrage of Unnatural bats requires more than Spare Parts to Repair

Fans trade Unnatural
Selection Apparel

As if in repentance to the softball gods for their lackluster performance in their previous outing, the Unnaturals opened up Tuesday night’s game against the Spare Parts with a flurry of hits that scored 9 runs in the first inning. A lesser team may have eased up at that point, but the Unnaturals who have a lot of first-hand experience in how a seemingly insurmountable lead in Amherst League Softball can be devoured quicker than you can shotgun a PBR, kept the pressure on. The Selection scored another 9 runs in the third inning, and added 6 more through the next 4 innings. The Spare Parts were held to only 5 runs on the night and didn’t score after the 3rd inning. “Would you say the Unnaturals had a plethora of hits?” asked an unidentified gentleman in the stands. “Yes, they had a plethora” agreed his friend although it was unclear if he understood the meaning of the word. Unnaturals over the Spare Parts: 25-5.

Danco Modern Leaves Unnaturals in Need of Reupholstering

The Unnatural Selection fell to Danco Modern on Thursday night in their roughest loss of the season. Danco Modern showed once again why they are a leader in Scandinavian furniture sales and a force to be reckoned with in the Amherst Softball League. The Moderns played a flawless defense anchored by their shortstop, while the Unnaturals had one of their more blunderful games of the season in the field and had difficulty filling up the bases on offense. Danco Modern, formerly Charlies, has always been a nemesis of the Unnaturals, knocking the Unnaturals out of the playoffs a couple years in a row. The teams won't meet again in the regular season, but likely will face each other in the playoffs when the Unnaturals look forward to finally putting the retail giant out of business. Tonight the Unnaturals play Spare Parts at 6:15 at Fort River 1. Bring your sunglasses....

Unnaturals Finish off Season Sweep of Coyotes

Despite lacking some estrogen Tuesday night which forced the Unnaturals to play with only 9 players in the field and an automatic out every 10th batter, the Selection churned out a fine performance and beat the Coyotes for the third time this season. The Orange came out firing and scored 5 runs in the first inning off a series of hard hit singles. The Coyotes started fighting back in the third inning and scored a couple runs in most of the last few innings, but it wasn't enough to keep up with the Orange offense. Ted and Tim both logged triples and Joe hit a homerun. Another highlight of Tuesdays game was the reemergence of Eric. Although he did not come bearing pizza this time, he played an excellent catcher snagging a particularly tricky foul ball for a key out. Greg took home the MVP trophy presumably for his unorthodox fielding style in the outfield. The Unnaturals beat the Coyotes 14-8 (or maybe 14-6, the scorebook is cryptic). Thursday night the Unnaturals play Danco Modern at Fort River #2 at 6:15. The Unnaturals beat Danco 10-5 in their last match-up, holding the furniture retailers scoreless through the last 5 innings.

Unnaturals Quench Radicals Despite 7th inning Shit Show

The Unnatural bats were relentless Tuesday night when they faced off against the Valley Radicals at Fort River 2. Inning after inning the Unnaturals shutdown the Radical’s offense and consistently kept the Orange running around the bases...

...And then James came in to pitch in the top of the 7th and it all went to hell. The Rads, who had up to that point only rounded the bases once, strung together six runs in a late-game rally aided by an Unnatural defense reminiscent of the early rag-tag Unnaturals, circa 2006. Fortunately, the 23 runs the Unnaturals had amassed provided a thick cushion against any last minute Radical attacks and the Unnaturals eventually managed to subdue the onslaught. The final score was 23-7 Unnaturals. Lindsy went home with the MVP trophy for her stellar play at third and for continuing to be a threat in the batter’s box.

On Thursday night the Unnaturals face the infamous Ooze at Kiwanis field. The Selection have not forgotten their 7-4 loss to the Ooze on Opening Day and look to even the record with Ooze Thursday night.

Unnaturals Ruffle Some Feathers but the Turkeys escape the Chopping Block in Extra Innings

The Unnaturals took on the undefeated Truculent Turkeys on Thursday night at Fort River #1. The Turkeys, who have been brutally thrashing many of the teams they have faced this season were scoreless in the first two innings as the Unnaturals played seamless defense retiring the first 6 batters in the strong Turkey lineup. In the meantime, The Selection notched one run in the score book each of the first two innings, one off of an inside-the-park homerun by Joe. The Unnaturals were up 4-2 after 5 innings and the fear was palpable in the Turkeys' high-pitched gobbles. The Turkeys tied it up in the 6th inning and the Truculent defense began to buckle down, holding the Unnaturals scoreless in the 6th. The Turkeys took the lead for the first time in the night with two more runs in the top of the seventh.

Things looked dire for the Unnaturals in the bottom of the 7th when the Turkeys got the first two batters out. With two outs and no runners on the Turkeys could smell victory and stood in the field with snoods held high. The unrelenting Unnaturals, however, began a two out rally starting with a single from Lindsy. Then in a play that immediately brought to mind the game winning bunt by that catcher in Major League who beat out the throw to first (if you haven't ever seen this movie watch it before next the next game!), Joe sprinted down the first base line to make it safely on an infield dud. Laura came up next and slapped one to the outfield to load the bases. Tim came up to the plate, and after a long and suspenseful at bat hit a hard single that drove in two runs to tie up the game. The Turkeys shutdown the Unnatural offense after that and the game went into extra innings.

The Turkeys turned on their best offense of the night and scored three runs in the top of the eighth and the Unnaturals were unable to answer back falling to the Turkeys 9-6. The Turkeys dubbed the game "the best game of the season", but the Unnaturals would like to argue that "the best game of the season" is yet to come. The Turkeys and Unnaturals face each other again in another month and it is sure to be another epic match-up. Joe went home with the game trophy for his homerun in the second and his sprint to 1st base that kept the Unnatural rally rollin'.

The Unnaturals play the Valley Radicals next Tuesday at Fort River #2 where they hope to begin a new win streak and Amanda will aim to continue her consecutive game streak of attempting to catch a ball with her head.