Is this really Season 6? WTF?!

So last year we lost in the playoffs. I don't really remember what happened. Feel free to refresh my memory. But a new season began today when we opened up at Fort River #2 against the Turkeys who were as Truculent as ever. They beat us 10-1. Roughly. Ted took home the trophy for his homerun/GRD. I will summarize this better at a later time.

Clash of the Bright Ones: Orange Falters in Season Final

There are those glorious summer games where everyone on your team is hitting beautiful line drives through gaps in the outfield, a continuous wave of orange rounds the bases amidst the sounds of congratulatory high fives and the ssssnap of celebratory PBRs opening. Every ball the other team hits falls gracefully into orange gloves. And then, of course, there are games like last Thursday night’s…

The Unnatural Selection had a rough outing against Team Awesome Thursday night at Groff Field. A team that just a week before The Selection beat 26-4 came out for blood with a strong offensive attack that the Unnaturals were unable to respond to. Perhaps it was the three cases of beer on the Unnatural bench or maybe it was because the night of the game, July 15th, is simply an unlucky day for Darwinites. It was, afterall, on that same day in 1883 when young Darwin’s mother passed away.

The Unnaturals and Team Awesome were tied 6-6 after four innings, but the fourth inning would be the last time the Unnaturals scored on Thursday. Team Awesome went on to double their score. As with any game, this one had its shining moments for The Orange— There was Jeff’s refusal to stop running until he reached home on that single he hit. There was Tim’s amazing catch in left field. And there was Eric’s fine performance at 1st base and his dominance at the plate where he went 4 for 4 earning himself the MVP trophy.

With this loss out of their system, the Unnaturals start their championship run next Thursday.

Darwin's Army Slays Dragons after Epic Battle

The first poster for the
new "Get Unnatural" campaign

A sopping wet scorebook never lies and last night’s scorebook documents an epic slug-fest between The Selection and the long-time Amherst League Dragon Ball club. After three innings last night the score was 17-6 with the Dragons dominating a slow to get started Unnatural line-up. The Unnatural Selection bats launched into motion at the start of the 4th inning and went on to score 17 runs in that inning alone. This is just one run shy of the Major League Baseball Record for the most runs scored in an inning which was set by the Chicago White Stockings against the Detroit Wolverines in 1883. The fiery Dragons battled back scoring a few more in their half of the fourth to bring the score to 23-20. Each ball team added a couple more in the 5th and the Unnaturals secured a strong lead in the top of the 6th with another 9 runs. The time was 10:15pm and the game was called for fear the lights would go out, which they did at 10:22pm. The score was 34-22. Old Greg was added to the disabled list last night when he sprained his ankle trying to get back to second. Fortunately, this gives him more time to contribute to his work as the posterboy for Unnatural Selection Softball. All the Unnaturals contributed to the rally that secured the win-- Dhruv hit two homeruns, and Dave, who took home the MVP trophy, hit a couple HR and some triples. The Unnatural Selection face Team Awesome this evening at beautiful Groff Park in the last game of the regular season.

Defensive Showdown Results in Most Boring Lowest Scoring Game in Amherst Adult Softball History

Watching the Unnatural Selection take on the Truculent Turkeys last Thursday evening was like taking a course in the fundamentals of fielding. The defense was so dominant that neither The Selection or the Poultry Powerhouse were able to score many runs. Both teams had several opportunities and left many players stranded on the base paths, but it would be the Turkeys that managed to waddle the most players around the bases. In a league where it is typical for the run totals to be in the double digits the final score of 3-1 was a rarity. The Unnaturals held the Turkeys to their lowest run total of the season and if they meet the Turkeys in the upcoming playoffs the Unnaturals hope that their offense can do the rest of the work. Tonight the Unnaturals take on the Dragons under the lights at Fort River #1, although an Unnatural Selection and Dragons face-off on the schedule typically results in a rainstorm or freak power outage preventing the game...

Fashion Designers Appalled by Color Scheme at Kiwanis

Despite being blinded by the vibrant neon green of Team Awesome, The bright orange Unnatural Selection had a strong offensive performance on the hottest night of the season at Kiwanis Field. Although Jeff appears to have skipped town with the MVP trophy and it was not handed out, each of the Unnaturals made a strong case for why they deserved to be the MVP for the evening:

Mary Alice--The leadoff batter had two single, two doubles and 4 RBI.

Amanda-A few singles and zero hits to the noggin.

Dave-A single, a double, and always reliable shortstopping.

Ted-hit two doubles and a homerun, also had a single-handed double play proving once again why, as Dhruv put so eloquently on another fine evening, "There is only one Bone, and we all know who that is".

Relena-Definitely won 'muddiest player of the game', sacrificing her body to get to the bases and to the ball, played a strong second base with 2 doubles, a single and a RBI.

Robert-Another strong pitching performance, snagged lots of balls up the middle and made a double play, 2 doubles, 2 singles, 2 RBI.

Leah-Strong debut at third, 3 singles, rounded the bases 3 times.

James-3 singles, two RBI, and several great catches in left field.

Dhruv-2 Doubles, a triple, 2 RBI.

Greg-2 doubles, 2 singles, 2 RBI, called Amanda off a ball she would have caught in right, and then missed it.

Iz-Unnatural debut, line-drive up the middle, scored in his first at bat.

The final score of the game was 26-4.

On Thursday night the Unnaturals will take on the Truculent Turkeys, the toughest team in the league. The Turkeys, undefeated until last week, are showing signs of weakness. They fell to Danco Modern last week. The Unnaturals hope to hand the Turkeys another loss on what is sure to be a game that is high in temperature as well as excitement.

Bold Base-Running Breaks Balmers

The Unnatural Selection played at Fort River #3 on Thursday night against the Ben Gay Balmers. The game marked the return of Ted from his 4 game suspension for betting on games, but also marked the loss of Joe for his multi-game suspension for pitching a spitball in his last outing. The game started out looking like an easy win for the Unnaturals, who were up 12-2 after 5 innings played. But by the 6th inning, the soothing medicated ointments utilized by the Balmers had warmed up their joints as well as their bats and they launched a 6th inning rally that brought the score to 12-6. The Balmer defense also began to buckle down and put an end to the Orange onslaught. Although the Unnaturals were kept scoreless in their last two ups, a series of excellent defensive plays late in the game put an end to the Balmer comeback and secured another W for The Selection. Some memorable final inning defensive plays were Dhruv’s juggling of a long fly ball before coming up with a triumphant barehanded catch and the relay from Greg to James to veteran catcher Amy at home plate for the game-ending tag out. The final score of the game was 12-8. It was the aggressive and gutsy base-running by the Unnaturals early on in the game that ultimately handed Orange the win. Jeff, who is especially known for his aggressive base-running style, fancy footwork, and uncanny flexibility was awarded the MVP for always keeping the Balmers guessing when he was on the base paths as well as playing a tight defense at shortstop that included catching a scorcher to end the first inning and keep the Balmers scoreless in their first at bat.

Justice Always Wins! Except when it Loses.

The Flash's Speed and Superman's
Strength are No Match for the
Unnaturals'...ummm.. Unnaturalness?

Unnatural Selection took on the Justice League for the 2nd time this season at Fort River #2 on Tuesday night. Cheered on by their dedicated fans and a row of uneaten hotdogs, Darwin’s Darlings took a couple innings to warm up, but then began an offensive attack that the young Justice League squad was unable to respond to. Every member of the Unnatural army got on base except for the team bloggist who appears to have entered her mid-season slump. Dhruv carried home the MVP trophy for his excellent playing his first time in centerfield and for another strong hitting performance since he became a master of the line-drive. Final score was 20-4 Unnaturals over Justice.