Unnaturals Make Coyotes Howl, PETA Cries Foul

Unnaturals wait out sand storm
at Fort River Field

Animal welfare activists are up in arms over the relentless brutality shown by the Unnatural Selection towards the Coyotes last Thursday night. "They were up by over ten runs in the fourth inning, but those Unnaturals just kept swinging their bats at those poor Coyotes" Said one PETA spokeswoman. "Especially that Mary Alice" The woman added "She went 6 for 6, and those were hard hit balls!" The Coyotes were not as defenseless as PETA made them out to be, inflicting 16 runs worth of damage over the 6 inning game. But every Unnatural player rounded the bases at least twice and had multiple hits giving them a total of 33 runs. "Did we win?" asked the Unnaturals catcher, Anna, who showed up drunk to the game.

Yes, the Unnaturals did indeed win, claiming their first victory of the season. If the Unnaturals can continue their hitting streak they should be a team to contend with this season. Tonight the Unnaturals play Danco Modern at the bumpy Fort River 3 field. Apparently, it is a rough year for selling couches and Danco Modern has decided to try their hands at softball.